Black Girls be Coming Out

Happy New Year! I know it’s the 17th but I will be the obnoxious one to say Happy New Year til March. Me Nah Care! And what better way to start the new year than to come out!? No I am not talking about my sexuality even though I have some sinfully scrumptious home girls (Lana, Rell I’m lookin at ya’ll :-)). No I am talking about the blogger’s closest.

Today, January 17th, I came out to my friends and family as a blogger.  I was gonna do it at some point but being dubbed a “Fierce Female Blogger” by LC who runs Colored Girl Confidential pushed me to it (You can read the post here.) So I shared the post on Facebook so my FB folks could see and I posted this status:

I have a blog. Most of you dont know about it because I write about things that I may or may not want you to know about. But its 2013, I’m 23 years old and I write my truth. I refuse to apologize for my truth. So enjoy at your own risk 🙂 blackgirlblue.wordpress.com

And then I got scared. Remembering why I chose to blog in secret to begin with. Not wanting to hold my tongue or consider my audience. Wanting to be free to express myself without tarnishing my good girl image. Thinking back on all the posts I wrote about my crushes, my politics, celibacy and sex. Oh shoot, SEX! So I wrote this:

P.S. Mom and Dad this post does not pertain to you. You two are barred from my blog. No really. Im serious.

But they are really not the worst of my fears. I thought of my ex. The one that I am trying to be friends with. And the posts, some rather recent, that I know, if he reads them, he will know are about him.

But I have told no lies here.  And even if that truth was only truth for a moment, it was real to me when I sat down at the computer.  And I refuse to apologize or feel guilty for that.

So to all the new subscribers, readers, visitors… HEY!!! I hope you enjoy yourself but Im not sorry if you dont. Because this is my little safe place on the internet.  So sit back, relax and join me on my journey. Or dont. Its all love either way.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, if you have any issue, complaint or comment please feel free to take it up with me. I’m a big girl. I cant handle it.

~The Management

 

Black Girls be defining their “Fine”

One fine morning my Best Friend sent me a pic that looked like this:

 

Followed by a pic that looked like this:

 

By now I was WIDE awake wondering who were these men and where could I get me one.  She tells me that they are from this Facebook fan page called “Dam He Fine!” and practically begs me to join (Ok she didnt beg me but when faced with photos like that how much more coercion does one need?).

So I followed the page and every day my Facebook feed was enhanced by pictures of greased up abs and chiseled jaws.  At first I was like a crowd at a firework show Oohin and Aahin like I had never seen a man before. But there is only so much salivating and head turning one woman can do before she wants more. More? What is more than buns of steel, deep brooding eyes and perfectly aligned teeth?

Everything.  When I am attracted to a man, like really attracted, it isnt because of his hip to shoulder ration or the fact that he can crack a walnut with his butt cheeks.  Although…. No but really I like a man who commands good attention when he walks into a room.  Serves the community. Loves to teach and learn.  Invested in his family, present and future.  Ambitious, yet humble.  With a sense of humor and adventure.  If I had a “Dam He Fine” page (but my page would be “Damn He’s Fine” because there is an N on the end of damn.  They must have been to excited to notice) would be filled with teachers, college students, civic leaders, writers, artists.  They would be real men, doing real things.  That’s “fine” to me.

Now this is what Im talking about.

Black Girls Be Attending Cultural Stuff: DanceAfrica 2012

Just got home from Dance Africa with my bestest friend. (No really we have been friends for 20 years in September and Im not even 25 yet) And because my lovely mother washed my phone in the washing machine the other day I have been phoneless or I would have taken photos to share with yall.

SIDE NOTE:

Being phoneless in a society where we are addicted to the illusion of connectivity and communication shows you just how much of an illusion it really is. Because no matter how many followers I have or “friends” on Twitter this weekend I was alone.  I only spoke to my mother, father, 1 of my brothers, my grandmother and three friends.  Being phoneless shows you who really cares about your life and who just wants to know about your life.  There is a difference.  I have enjoyed the peace and quiet without that ever gnawing feeling that if I dont check my phone I may miss something. Life is happening all around me. I dont want to miss that.

Ok Im back.  So we went to Dance Africa at the Brooklyn Academy of Music otherwise known as BAM.  Its their 150th year of operation and they have this really great marketing campaign “BAM and then it hits you” Here is one of my favorites:

Im a sucker for dance photos.  But yeah we went and there was a street bazaar around BAM with people selling all of the normal ethnic wares; jewelry, t-shirts, art, body lotions and oils and food. Oh the food!!!  I ended up buying a conch shell ring, a wrap skirt, 3 pairs of earrings and a picture.  Then we went to the dance performance which was in BAM’s big beautiful theatre and it was absolutely amazing.  I love to watch young people do African dance.  Some of those girls were as young as 7 or 8 and all I could think about is in about 15 years that will be my son or daughter.  My ancestors survived the Middle Passage, slavery, Reconstruction, Jim Crow, The 60’s AND Reagan but along the way our native identity was lost.  But when the drumming starts there is something inside me that wakes up like recognizing an old friend. Hey, I know you! So its awesome to watch and be a part of.  Furthermore (comma) they was gettin it!!! Do you hear me!!?!! I mean feet, legs, arms, hair, heads just movin.  It took everything in me to stay in my seat! Powerful.  But the thing that I love most about these types of events is seeing my people and feeling a great sense of community. No fighting, no strife… just good looking men and women out enjoying the weather and each other and life.  Just enjoying life.

I also enjoyed a beef patty and a small fruit salad. Did you think I was gonna pass all that good smelling food and not get nothing?!? Pssht!! You must not know me very well.