Black Girls be Considering the Women Who Sleep

This morning I woke up and rolled over, wishing I was finding some attractive, ambitious, loving and trustworthy man laying next to me. But alas… So I went through my morning ritual; thanked God for waking me up and allowing me to see another day, checked my email, checked Facebook and checked Twitter.  And when I checked Twitter, I saw tweets about yet another ignorant comment that Todd Akin made.

You know, Todd Akin, the one that said the doctors are performing abortions on women that arent pregnant, not paying women equal to men is a matter of freedom and everyone’s all time favorite, that women dont get pregnant from legitimate rape.

My sentiments exactly Prince, my sentiments exactly.

But what really gets my head a-scratchin is the women that marry, love and, I assume, sleep with the men like Todd Akin;  Men that seem to think that women only have sex to procreate,who dont need equal pay because their manly man comes home every night from the office and brings home the bacon and that feminism is just another noisy women’s social club.

I do not expect to find and marry the perfect man but I do expect him to be a critical thinker and able to process logical thought.  In other words, he needs to act like he got some DAMN SENSE!

Another example is Mike McQueary, former assistant football coach that walked in on Sandusky raping a young boy in the shower.  I wouldnt be able to have a restful night’s rest laying next to him because I wouldnt trust him.  Any man that can walk in to a room and see a man raping someone and not do anything to stop them, would do absolutely ANYTHING if the time and/or money was right.  There is no way I could live like that, constantly looking over my shoulder because I dont think he would have my back if ish got real. Nah, Im good.

So that leaves me wondering, who are these women that sleep?  Women that can close their eyes and drift off to dreamland while laying beside an Akin or a McQueary?  This is totally different from sociopaths who hide their true natures and their mates dont know what hit them until he’s standing over them with a butcher knife. No. These are men who’s actions or words are open, well documented and they are, at the least, rationalized and, at the most,  proud of.

Are there really people that are so naive that they believe that their spouses are correct? Or are they selfish enough to believe that it doesnt matter as long as it doesnt affect them and their family? Or maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe its just about ignorance.

Ann Madoff, Bernie Madoff of the Madoff ponzi scheme that lost investors approximately $18 billion dollars, maintains that she didnt know anything about the scheme until her husband told her at the end.  Now I dont know if thats the truth or if she’s just saying that because her stylist told her she wont look good in stripes, but for argument’s sake let’s take her word for it.  What kind of marriage allows one to live lavishly for decades, raise children, go on family vacations and never sit down and really talk about the business?

Maybe I’m naive.  Maybe I expect marriage to be a true partnership.  Maybe because my parents didnt have much money to talk about & they knew the conversations could be short, even if they werent always sweet, they went ahead and let it all out.  Maybe the novel idea of financial transparency in a marriage is a fallacy created by Suze Orman and Oprah. Maybe.

But I hope that when I am blessed with my Future Husband that we are able to communicate.  Because its not just about the money, its about the relationship.  I want my husband to respect me enough to come to me as one of his most trusted advisers, so that I can point out the holes in his theory and we can work to make it stronger.  I want to be able to sit down with our bank statements and know how money is coming in and where money is going out.  And I want to be able to go into any situation with him and feel absolutely safe because he is there and I know he would give his life to protect me.  I want us to have that level of trust.  I wont be able to survive in the relationship any other way.

I dont know how some women do it.  How does one ever rest? And if they are able to sleep, what kind of person do they see in the morning when they wake up?


Black Girls be Politicking

On my way back from my first puppet show rehearsal (yeah, more about that later) I saw a sign.  It said, “Watch for motorcycles. Check your blind spots. Share the road.”  Now, I dont know what it was about that sign that made me think about politics but it did. Check your blind spots.  Share the road.  They seem like simple little innocuous sayings but they are not.  It seems like “checking our blind spots” and “sharing the road” have become revolutionary ideas.

Being blind is not seen as an asset.  It is categorized as a disability, a weakness.  “Blinded by love” is to lose all of one’s common sense while under Cupid’s spell and no one wants to be “robbed blind.”  But when we are driving down the highway in our vehicles of various sizes, singing our favorite songs we dont always own up to our lack of vision. “He was in my blindspot!” (Why is the driver always a man until proven otherwise?) He was in my blind spot. Like how dare he be in a place that inconveniences me. The nerve of him.

I would say its all the political talk that usually follows conventions that incited this train of thought, but its not.  Recent events have introduced me to my blind spots.  Two weeks ago, I had the honor to meet Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Jose Antonio Vargas (@joseiswriting for all the tweeps) and he made me check my blind spot that is the 12 million undocumented Americans in this country.  Yeah, let that sink in. 12 million.  People who work, eat, sleep, pray, live, love and are just as American as anyone else.  Oh, and they drive too.  We share the road with them every day.  We dont ask to see their IDs before we let them pass us.  We treat them with the same respect, or disrespect, that we would give any other driver. We have to; for everyone’s collective safety.
The elections are fast approaching. And though I have hope I also have concerns. Because certain political parties and players have made it clear that not only are they disregarding their blind spots but they have no interest in even admitting that there are blind spots that need to be checked.  And I am very afraid to see what kind of country we will have if they get behind the wheel.   Win or lose, black or white, red or blue, we will all have to share the road.  There are only so many people we can run over, cars we can leave unattended and wrecks we can let disrupt the flow of traffic before none of us will be able to get anywhere.  We are the potentially homicidal drunk driver on the highway to progression.

The solution is simple.  Check your blind spots.  Whether or not you see them, they are there. The undocumented, the homeless, the single parents, the unemployed, the homosexual, the impoverished, the mal-educated and the malnourished. Whether or not you see them, they are still there. And they have just as much nerve and just as much right to be here as you do. Share the road, so we can all get where we want to go.