Ok so in a recent post I briefly mentioned that I sorta kinda not really may have a teensy weensy bit of feelings about this guy that I met online that I donned Fireman Sam (If you are a Black Girl Blue vet you know how I like to nickname my “potentials” even though none of them have lasted past two posts. Hmmmm I need to reflect on some thangs.) Anyway, well in this new found venture of “learning how to date” I have been trying to play “THE GAME.” You know, dont kiss on the first date, wait 3 days to call, let the man make the first move… blah, blah, blah. I dont necessarily prescribe to any of these “rules’ as the recipe for success. In fact, I find them quite patriarchal but I am trying something new because most of my past relationships have gone something like this:
I like you. Do you like me? No? Ok. Moving on
I like you. Do you like me? Yes? Let’s be together. You’re not ready for that? Ok Moving on.
I like you. Do you like me? Yes? Let’s be together. Ok? Ok.
This has my modus operandi. Why you ask. Great question! Because I am assertive, strong-willed, determined and when I see something that I want I go after it. Period. And it doesnt help that even though I stand at a self-proclaimed 5’2″ in my mind I am a 6’5″ 280lb big black man with like a 13’… well you get the picture. I am a big person with a big personality that doesnt understand no and thinks its a sin to miss an opportunity. This has done wonders for my professional life! But my personal one, eh, not so much.
So back to Fireman Sam. I haven’t really been cataloging my online dating woes but since I havent come up here slinging flowers and quoting Stevie Wonder lyrics its pretty safe to assume that I havent found THE ONE. I’ve gone a few dates but I havent felt that thing with anyone yet.
Then I went out with Fireman Sam. We met at a little restaurant/bar near downtown and ate and drank a lil and talked for hours without it feeling like hours. I was smiling and he was smiling and we were smiling and it felt nice. Shoot, it felt nice to feel something. We got ice cream cones and I even went to his apartment.
Now lets stop right there for a moment. I know it is not the smartest thing to do on a first date. But I think I am a pretty decent judge of character and I am very aware of my surroundings. But Im sure women who have been chopped up in little pieces thought the same things. *Le sigh* Ok guys, I wont do that again. Scouts honor!
So we are at his apartment that was admittedly VERY bachelory. (Bachelory- full of character, see also messy) We started watching Kill Bill and switched to Deathproof and at midnight he sang Happy Birthday to me and we took a shot. I was cuddled in his arms and he kissed my forehead and rubbed my cheek and it was so very… nice. But I’m a “good girl” so I left before my night time nature took hold. And yes, I floated home. The next night I spent a few late night hours with him and again his energy was great. And at the end of the night he kissed me. I wont say that fireworks went off or anything but there was definitely a spark.
So the next day I decide not to call or text him to see if he would contact me. He didnt. I let the entire day pass, which is big for me. The following day I text him and the conversation is lackluster. Later that night I was out with my family at the Durham Bulls game and he texts me… Im gonna let you see it for yourself.
To which I responded, “No. I don’t. But I respect your honesty. It was fun nevertheless.” And all his 29-year-old wisdom and maturity he ended the conversation with “;,)” Is that a cry face? Are you 14? Is this real life?
IS THIS REAL LIFE?
So I did what any warm blooded American woman would do in this situation, I screenshot the conversation and sent it to my two best girl friends. After we laughed at the audacity of it all, I searched them for answers and I searched myself. I am glad that he told me within a week what his intentions were. It saved me a whole lot of time, energy, heart-space and gas (and we all know gas aint cheap). I am also proud that I stuck to my guns and my morals when I was with him. My actions and energy made it clear that I was not easy conquest and would not be satisfied as another notch in his bedpost nor as just another woman holding his fire hose. (See what I did there? There may be some more bad fireman puns coming your way. You have been warned.)
But I must admit that I was a little hurt, a little disappointed. I actually felt something with him, and I havent felt anything for anyone, especially anyone knew in at least a year and a half. I miss the feeling.
But all in all I m glad that everything went the way it did because if he had waited a couple months or a year and THEN told me he was a manwhore I would have had to set his house on fire, while he was at work. LOL I kid. But can you imagine being a firefighter and getting a call and its to your address? Awkwarddd! Nevertheless, I hope he is keeping his pole clean cuz there’s no telling how many people have slid down it.