I am a devout reader of a friend and fellow Black Girl’s blog called Colored Girl Confidential ( I can call her my friend because we met in real life. I know right? People still do that O_O lol). Her blog always has great posts that uplift every aspect of my little Black girl life. But every once in a while I will read something that stops me dead in my tracks and answers questions that I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Her last was one such post. It is titled “7 Things I Wont Need on My Next Birthday“. I will try really hard not to give the whole post away but all of her 7 really hit home.
Number 4 is ” I wont need a… job.” I am a 23 year old woman with a bachelor’s of fine arts in professional theatre with an acting concentration, which means I am broke. But I am not poor. I am rich in creativity and potential and energy and its time for me to stop chasing “FT with benefits” and follow my purpose. I have characters pounding away at my temporal lobe begging for release. And its time I let the little bastards have their own way. So I am applying for theatre fellowships across the country so that I can make it happen, cap’n.
Number 5 is ” I will not need abs.” Abs are nice but what have they done for you late-ly? (You should have read that in your best Janet Jackson’s homegirl in the intro voice) Seriously though, if I havent learned anything else from social media is that our outward appearances dont make us happier, smarter, wealthier nor better people. They dont even make us better looking really. People are out here getting chose, getting jobs, creating opportunities, smiling, waking up and dying regardless of their BMI. Im not saying Im going to forego all my good sense and go on a liquid diet of KFC gravy and Krispy Kreme doughnut glaze but I am going to love myself every day, at every phase and every weight.
Speaking of love, the one that really knocked my socks off, made me pause and remind myself to breath was Number 2 “To Love People Who Dont Love Me Back.” Ya’ll I’ve been struggling lately. I miss my “ex”. (Ex because we were never officially together but we were very much together.) Even with our lack of a title, he loved me and treated me better than any other man I gave the moniker “boyfriend”. He treated me with the utmost respect, he showed me loved me in all the little ways that really counted and he made me feel warm and happy in that substantial “we could do this forever” kind of way. Yeah, it was like that. But we ended things and though my head understands my heart still goes through stages of disbelief. I have read relationship tips from all sound angles from my mother to the bible to Oprah and still I have not found peace in the situation. So when I read, “On my next birthday, I will not argue with people who say they don’t deserve me. I’ll assume they know what they’re talking about,” I felt like she had encroached into my private sanctum and used my misery for public consumption! I still havent decided what I am going to do about this situation. I guess thats for another day and another blog post…
And last but certainly not least, Number 1, I will not need “Apologies for Being Who I Am.” That deserves a moment of silence followed by this:
I have been holding back and not being my best self out of fear of what others might think/say/do/whisper/misinterpret and you know what that ends TODAY! Mattafact, nawl. That ends YESTERDAY!
I urge you to check out LC’s blog Colored Girl Confidential. Im sure it will inspire, ignite, delight and bless you as much as it has for me.
*2 chest pumps and a peace sign*