North, South, East, West
Shake it to the one that you like the best
Uh uh uh Shake it!
I was a cheerleader for a semester in 7th grade and that has absolutely nothing to do with this post except is it alright if I have a New York crush and a North Carolina crush?
That was gonna be my question before my impulsive nature got the best of me and I asked my friend about this guy and I found out he has a girl. I am mostly relieved. Now I can go about my life without worrying about what I should do about my feelings, feelings that will ultimately die within the next 90 minutes or so. (What can I say, I move on fast.) But now who will I fantasize about having all my cute lil country dates with like riding bikes around the cul de sac, riding horses or going to the drive in movies?
So I guess Im back down to my one crush, whom henceforth and forever more shall be referred to as Sgt. Dimples (Did I tell you he served in the military. Well he served in the military. A man in uniform *le swoon*). So I have an update on my situation.
But first let me tell yall about my mama. My mama was raised in Greeneville, North Carolina on a tobacco farm and she is one of 11 children. But she is nobody’s Southern belle. While her other sisters were in the kitchen learning how to be all domestic and what not, my mother was out in the field pickin tobacco and vegetables with the boys. So when she was 25 and met a young brother that she wanted to impress she invited him to a picnic. She laid out a nice spread of homecooked food but the star of the meal was the fried chicken. Now this young brother just knew he had caught him a good ole Southern woman who was gonna fill his belly right. It wasnt until after their wedding that she admitted that she hadnt cooked that food, that it was actually her big sister that had made the chicken he had salivated over. Fast forward 23 years later she is doing a little better with her cooking but she still tells me “I want to cook like you when I grow up.” 🙂
I said all that to say that my mother does have a great Southern charm, a charm that stands out even more in New York where people are so wary of one another. People are genuinely attracted to her, even my crush.
On Sunday after church I went down to the social hall and I saw Sgt. Dimples and even though my heart fluttered I just waved and smiled but I didnt approach him. So how hyped was I when he made his way over to me? He gave me a hug and we spoke for a second but it was nothing serious.
SIDE NOTE: He smelled really good. And I mean really good. You know that type of smell that lingers on you for a while after sending your nervous system all kinds of crazy mixed messages. I blame the pheromones.
Anyway, I continued my rounds to my other church family trying to reach out to everyone since that was my last Sunday at church before we move. But it seemed like I kept catching his eye. Maybe because I subconsciously wanted to. But anyway I sat down to talk to one lady and my mother came over to us. And then he walked over to my mother, gave her a long hug and strikes up a conversation. She asked him about his move to North Carolina (Oh yeah, did I tell yall he was moving South as well? There is a Gawd!) and he starts telling her all about his life plans. Now I wasnt listening to their conversation persay, as I was trying extra hard to stay focused on my conversation so that he wouldnt know that his presence makes my world go into slow motion. But I did see out of my peripheral my mother and my crush both with their phones out!
MY MOTHER GOT MY CRUSH’S NUMBER!!!
I needed to take a pause after that. Now I know my mama. And I know she was getting his number for me. She has been happily married to my dad for 23 years. And she knows I have a crush on this man. She also believes that he has taken a liking to me as well. She even told me that she saw him peeking at me while they were talking. But I dont know about all that. All I know is that I shaved my legs, wore heels and my lip gloss was popping and I didnt get his phone number. And its not all about looks and I dont even think Im all that. But Im a good woman. I’s smart and can cook and gots all my teefs. So why Baby Jesus, did my almost 50 year old mother get that man’s number and not me?!?! What am I doing wrong!?!!?
And to add insult to injury, as we pull up to our house after church I get a text from my mama who was sitting next to me. As soon as I saw her name pop up, my heart dropped. I knew what the text was and she knew what she was doin but what she didnt know was that she had thrown me headfirst into a very murky social conundrum….
To Call or Not to Call? That is the Question.